Today marks the end of my first year of University! It’s surreal how quickly it’s gone, it seems like just yesterday I was anxiously packing up my belongings and heading down to Bangor ready to begin my dream course, Zoology and Animal Behaviour. I had no idea what to expect, whether I’d adore Uni or hate it with a passion. I could only try. However, it’s been an incredible adventure filled with highs and lows, I’ve learned lots in terms of education and life lessons and at times I’ve really come to acknowledge my strengths and weaknesses and at times I’ve struggled but, nonetheless, I am proud of myself for getting through the year despite my mental struggles and personal difficulties.
‘You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think.
I’d been wanting to attend Bangor Uni since 2014 when I first applied. My personal circumstances and a decline in my mental and physical health meant my plans were temporarily on hold and I became extremely upset that the majority of my friends were heading off and I was being left behind. I’m not better or in any way recovered, but I’m trying to include things in my life that extend beyond my illnesses. I’ve always been a lover of education and learning, so being away from it for such a long time broke my heart. Being back is the best feeling that fills me with so much joy. But everything happens for a reason, I wasn’t the failure I labelled myself as because I didn’t give up. “Nonetheless she persisted.” I got to Bangor in my own time. I am learning that there’s no age limit to success. Starting in 2017 doesn’t make my achievements any less than those who started years beforehand. We can either let our experiences worsen us or better us as individuals.
It’s how we pick ourselves back up after we’ve fallen that counts, not the number of times we’ve been down.
Prior to starting Uni, I worried I wouldn’t fit in because I’m not the “typical Student” and my issues (including my Autism and social anxiety) make socialising difficult – I hate drinking and the thought of spending my evening in a club fills me with distress. I’d much rather sit in and write an essay. But that’s just me. I found that I did fit in, I found things I enjoyed doing with people I loved spending my time with. First year, for me, has been a learning curve.Not just in terms of academic study and finding new interests (microbiology , more in depth animal behaviour and evolution) but also life lessons too. I’ve found a strength in me I didn’t know I had. Determination. I stepped out of my comfort zone massively and continued to challenge myself in so many ways: moving to an entirely new place with new people and learning to adjust to my surroundings and University life, finding the courage to confide in my tutors and friends during my times of struggle and surviving each day despite the battles in my head that are seemingly torturous at times. I have exceeded my own expectations.
University has given me a motivation and a much brighter outlook on life which I lacked for such a long period of time when everything was dull. I want to make others happy, animals happy and myself happy and my role as a student is helping me to do so, I’m massively grateful for that. It hasn’t cured my mental illnesses and I never expected it to. Though, its given me happiness, its acted as a constant reminder and a solid foundation of why I must keep going: to succeed in achieving my Degree to then go onto saving animals. Returning to education after two years off to work on myself really is a magical feeling, I’m beginning to feel as though I have a purpose again. I’ve been privileged enough to make valuable friendships with wonderful people who I’ll always treasure in my heart, people I’m thrilled to be spending the next few years with. My friends accept me for me, understand my mental health struggles and provide me with endless love and hugs. And for that, I am grateful, and very lucky too! My first year certainly wouldn’t have been the same without my amazing friends.
The year has been fantastic, a combination of tears and smiles, positives and negatives. Of course there are definite areas in which I can improve, but with each day I am learning and growing as a person accepting my flaws rather than striving for a perfection that doesn’t exist or even satisfy my own standards. First year has acted as a stepping stone to achieving even more milestones in my second year and I say bring on the challenge! And I remain confident that each year will result in being progressively better than the first.
I must add a huge thank you to everybody who has supported me along the way. My friends and my Tutors (the kindest people I’ve ever met) who have both offered me endless understanding and love when I’ve needed it. I’ve never been judged at Uni for my struggles, instead I’ve been encouraged to focus on my strengths and achievements which seems impossible to do on my own accord. I wouldn’t have gotten through the year without the support of my tutors who never fail to pick me up when I’m down, inviting me for a chat (usually about Goats!) or emailing me back in the middle of the night when I’m stressed or just need somebody to speak to. I’m beyond grateful for everybody who has been an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on, a person to share a laugh with and to create a new memory with. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for standing by me through the good and bad times.
I’m very proud to be a Student at Bangor Uni SBS (School of Biological Sciences) I finally feel like I belong and I’m excited for all that’s next to come.